Slow(ish) Summer Daily Rhythms

Time-blocking a Type-A calendar, protecting a full life from my overworking tendencies, and what an unhurried July day actually looks like for a 43 year old married working mom.

Deep summer. The mornings take a while to wind up, as we’re in a new era of sleepy teenagers and self-imposed (very loose) schedules for the adults. Michael is deep in early-stage founder/entrepreneur land, and I’m enjoying another season as a multi-hyphenate gal: part-time paid work (remote/hybrid), creative endeavors, and full-time momming (x3 sons, ages 8, 12, and 14). Our time is mostly ours, so I’ve instituted 30 minutes of reading during (or right after) breakfast for the lads. Their summer book selections are a nice medley of mythology, narrative history on WWII, Jack Zulu adventures, Sherlock Holmes, and Harry Potter. I’m also reading and journaling whatever is on my heart or needs to get out of my brain, giving it all to Jesus, and eating the exact same breakfast every morning. I love this time together, first thing.

As the morning warms to the state of a hazy terrarium, the boys eventually head outdoors to explore the lush green of our surrounding property, and I find my schedule for the day (Michael has long been in his office already). It’s usually about 8:45 - 9:00 am at this point. I do a quick check-in with my AI agent – she (still undecided on the personification rule here) has already swept my email, Slack messages, calendar, Notion database, and Granola notes and has surfaced what is timely for the day’s work. I might adjust a few things here, but usually I’m finishing my cup of coffee and ready to tackle whatever project I’ve reserved for the morning block.

Listen, I know time-blocking my calendar is very Type-A eldest daughter energy. But that’s exactly who I am, and it works wonders for helping me stay on track with several streams of creative and otherwise necessary work.

Because without the blocks, I will absolutely overwork myself and skip the things that actually keep me upright: sleep, exercise, my people in the next room.

So the morning block is prime time for me to strategize or kick off a new project, anything that needs fresh ideas or that I know will be mentally challenging (like solving a technical problem or strategizing a new thing). I’ll wrap it up around 11:30 am, if possible, and either head to a noon pilates class at my local studio or to our little home gym for some stretching and strength training. Lunch happens immediately afterward, either on-the-go or something quick back at home. Time to take care of my body, both in movement and by eating healthy and delicious foods, is blocked on my calendar too.

And while we’re here, I’m going to say something kind of obvious but hopefully helpful for some of you — you don’t need special clothing to work out, and you only need a very few items, if any, to help you get a good sweat going. I’m adding this here because for so long I was trapped by the ideal of perfection (hello, firstborn tendencies again!) where I believed that if it didn’t look a certain way, or if I didn’t have a full gym setup, then I couldn’t build an exercise habit that actually worked for me. What a total consumerist lie! All you really need is a mat and some kind of resistance tool (hand weights or bands), which you can find inexpensively at places like Marshall’s or Costco. I started with free videos on YouTube and a mat, and I would work out in my pj’s most days. Those extra things are nice, but not required; the only thing you really need is to set aside the time and show up (and lots of water!). If you protect this time and take care of your body, I promise you will reap the rewards tenfold, in body/mind/spirit.

My afternoons are typically divided into two blocks: 1 pm–3 pm and 3 pm–6 pm. The first will often be spent on home maintenance tasks (laundry, organizing, etc.), errands around town, or social visits with family or friends. My energy tends to slump in the early afternoon—and deep work is the most challenging at this time—so it’s better for me to be physically active or out of the house, if possible. The second block kicks off with a coffee, currently iced flat whites via our Nespresso machine, aka my favorite appliance. (Our first machine was a gift, and when it finally died after YEARS of daily use, I immediately bought one to be delivered the next day.) The caffeine boost provides a kind of “second wind,” and my mind is ready to start writing, either in comms (email, Slack, social) or here for More Bandwidth. On days where I’ve started a project in the morning, I may choose to keep going with whatever I’m creating, and all three blocks will be dedicated to the project. Finally, the workday closes around 6 pm, when we transition to family dinner time (and I get to enjoy whatever Michael has cooked for us!).

A note on married household roles, since this is part of the architecture too: we’ve tried many different variations on who-manages-what in our 15 years (and counting) of being together, but this season finds us both working from home and in control of our schedules. So we’ve divided the two big areas of ongoing maintenance completely down the middle — he manages anything food-related (meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, dishes) and I manage anything clothing-related (laundry, dry cleaning, mending, auditing wardrobes, shopping, packing for trips). My living standards are kind of mid-trending-high, as in, I want a clean and tidy house most of the time, but the baseboards don’t have to be shining, ya know? And I definitely don’t want to spend my time cleaning every day. As of now, we all do daily and weekly chores (including the boys) to keep the house and yard mostly clean and tidy, and we also have someone come in to clean the house monthly. So far, this system is working for us.

The evening rhythm is anchored by a few key moments: first and foremost is family dinner, at the table, with real plates, glassware, napkins, candles, and sometimes music. It’s not fancy, per se, but it’s a practice we put in place when we were first married and have made it a priority ever since. Our time together around the table isn’t perfect; sometimes we will literally be in the middle of an argument and have to pause to take a deep breath and say a prayer of gratitude for our meal. But usually the food and atmosphere and looking into the faces of our children work to redirect our perspective to bigger, more lasting things than whatever is causing the tension. We eat, we talk, we joke, and we enjoy the fruits of our labor together. After we eat, we tidy up and head outside for a walk.

Most evenings are spent at home, but a couple of times a week we will have events scheduled — soccer games, date nights, friend meet-ups, church community happenings. The older our children get, the more events they are involved in that we are not (or are only required to provide transportation for!). Michael also set a goal to plan two intentional date nights a month this year, and I’m happy to report that we’re on track! (We just saw Kurt Vile at the Ryman last week, which was a fun show.) We do our best not to overschedule, but some weeks are a real doozy, and I have to intentionally pull back for a couple of days in a row to recover. A night in has become a real luxury, and I treat it as such.

If you looked at my calendar, you’d also see intentional decompression time blocked on there — I’ve learned where I’m tempted to overwork. If I’m back at my computer at 9pm and going strong, that late-night high-rev time in front of a screen will come back to haunt me, messing with my sleep and stress levels. For me, “decompression time” is pretty typical — hot bath, slow bedtime routine, making a cup of tea, and reading a paper book (currently reading: The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro). While I love at-home movie nights, we tend to reserve those for the weekends. Weeknights are about rest and recovery.

I love to hear about how other people, especially 40-something moms, shape their days. I share mine not as a productivity hack but more like a confession: left to my own devices, I will tend to choose the extra hour of work over the walk, the workout, the time at our family table. The calendar blocks aren’t there to optimize me; they’re there to save me from myself. If the last several months have echoed any message, it’s this—time is my most precious resource, and I want to spend it wisely.

Until next time,

SBL

p.s. Please share what your summer days are like in the comments! I’m so curious to hear :)