Where's the Signal?

On the Era of Optimization, finite bandwidth, and a small tool I built to help you find your real priorities.

Unfortunately, ladies (and gents), we live in the Era of Optimization.

It seems like I’m being told—and sold—at every turn to get more out of my day, my body, my skills [insert a costumed Adam Driver yelling MORE], and that whatever is available to be optimized, should be leveled up.

all photos by Alyssa Jane

And danggit if I’m not susceptible to this messaging. Its like someone in an overly bright boardroom somewhere had the brilliant idea to capitalize on eldest daughter energy and thought, ‘Ah, THIS is our new 2026 buzzword…’ [writes OPTIMIZED with a squeaky blue marker]. I love it and I hate it. It’s the shiny promise that if we can just master this particular area of our life, then everything will be okay. If I can optimize my morning routine, then I’ll have unending patience to deal with my rowdy children. If I can optimize my health routine, then I won’t have to think about aging and the challenges that brings. If I optimize my work schedule, then I’ll achieve the elusive work-life balance.

It sounds so great, doesn’t it?

And I want to be fair here; there are routines and systems that truly bring peace and a sense of balance to my life. Going to bed (and sleep) between 10 and 10:30 on most nights is my sweet spot. It allows me to get a good 8 hours of quality sleep, which is biologically what my body needs (I know because I’ve tested this out…I can function alright on 7, but 6 is not enough) to be ready for the next day. In order for me to actually fall asleep around 10:30, I’ll need to start winding down at 9 or 9:30. I’ll do the usual night time routine things that we millennial women perfected (low lights, comfy pjs, skincare, magnesium, hot tea, reading an actual paper book) in order to optimize my runway to dreamland. Does it always work? No. Does it mostly work? Sure, most nights. Do I enjoy the routine? Immensely.

And this is the point.

Structure and systems are not an end in themselves, they are a means for creating more space, more freedom, more enjoyment, which allows us to fully live our lives. We don’t need to become slaves to these systems, because maintaining agency is really important (and attractive, don’t you think?) We also don’t need to become control freaks who miss a wonderful moment of spontaneity because it’s not blocked out in our calendar. As much as I love a good order of operations, what I’m saying is that static structure exists for the living. A house is built for the people inside. A framework holds up a full and beautiful life, not the other way around.

To get this order right, we need to do a little self-reflection. We can start by doing a simple life audit and noticing where our resources (time, attention, money) are going. We can ask: what are my life values? Not what I say I want them to be… what are they actually? Exercises like this help us slow down and take stock of where our energy is coming from and going to, and give us a real baseline for building the life we want.

And this is where I’ll stop talking in the abstract, because this week I actually built something to do it.

It’s called The Signal Map. The idea is simple, even if the doing takes a little honesty: you lay out where your time, attention, and money are actually going, and you set that next to what you say you value. The gaps are the whole point. Most of us are running on noise—the pings, the shoulds, the constant low hum telling us to optimize one more thing—and the signal is whatever’s underneath all of it that’s actually true about how we want to live. The map just makes the two visible at the same time, so you can see where your real life and your stated values may have drifted apart.

I didn’t build it to optimize you. I built it because I want you to know what you actually value and to be confident in where your energy is going. This is a small tool to help you see your own life with new eyes. I want you to be strategic with your own life on purpose… if not you, who else will?

You can’t build a life made for deep, soul-delighted living if you can’t see the floor plan you’re already standing on.

So here’s how it works, and it’s quick (under ten minutes) and free. You answer one deceptively simple question, over and over: which one gets more of you? Family or work. Health or something else. Nine channels, all competing for the same finite bandwidth, and you choose—head to head, gut first, no time to talk yourself into the answer you wish were true. That’s the whole trick. You can make a values list say anything. It’s harder to hide when it’s just this or that and you have to pick.

What comes out the other side is your signal map: your real priorities, ranked, most important first. Not the aspirational version… the one you actually live. And if you want it to keep working with you, it’ll hand you a small agent you can drop into a Claude or ChatGPT chat that checks in every couple of weeks and asks, gently, whether your life is still lining up with what you said mattered most.

Go find your signal. I think you already know which channel’s been getting your leftovers—but there’s something clarifying about watching yourself choose it in real time.

Until next time,

SBL

More Bandwidth - The Signal Map

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If you enjoy learning how to leverage productivity and AI tools to help you live a more creative life, then join me — that’s the journey I’m on, too. I’ve written about my first build here, a Chief of Staff agent on Claude Cowork, which you might like to read! 💻🤍